thanx everyone for the comments, you all are really great...
today its sunny here and reading all of your baby stories and congratulatory remarks have made me feel all is right with the world for the moment... last night was one of the first that included the choir of frogs and cricket things all carrying on out in the woods around the house... the baby has a name but ill wait till it shows up... thus far the biggest drawback (aside from barbs dismay over the loss of girlish figure) will be us not being at burning man this year which would have been four in a row.. somehow having the baby either delivered or present at age three weeks in the desert doesnt seem like a good idea...
   one thing i think about a lot is if i should just ax the fucking tv to bits before the kid ever gets to see it in all its horror... im really sure america would be a much better place without television...its just beyond the beyond whats taken for granted here... what the hell is going to happen to the goddamn human race at the rate things are going, am i totally crazy or is just everything getting more mediocre by the second?... its really hard to get a kind of free personal insight into what is really happening in the world, i just keep getting pulled back into the idea that things were 'better' more sophisticated when i was growing up, that there was more influence among the young people beyond just buying power, it felt like things were less factionalized and broken up into the myriad of special interest groups that are out now, it feels like theres been a deliberate and successful attempt to take any power away from young people...it feels like america is turning back to the stoneage sensibilities of the nineteenfiftys...everyone knows its 'dangerous' to criticize the establishment, to be unpatriotic... the nauseating conservative 'family' walt disney values that everyone worked so hard to shake off are back in full swing... spirituality is a lost cause and the miserable radio is at an all time low. i cant believe the crap that i hear, the goddamn 'classic' rock stations playing the same twenty songs over and over again ahhhhh!!! rant rant !!!!! everybody do something before its too late!!!!
   anyway as soon as the baby comes im gonna take it to germany and hang it over a balcony ha ha only kidding
    dont worry actually im in a good mood
        love
      chris